Grief support group to begin

By DAWN SLADE
Mille Lacs County Times
Posted 3/27/03

Jody Homstad is dealing with her grief in a way that will benefit others. She is forming a grief support group in Milaca for those bearing the loss of a loved one.

After trying to get pregnant for five years, Jody and her husband Greg decided they would adopt a child. But, as Jody says, the Lord had other plans.

In November, 2001, before they adopted, the Homstads were delighted to learn they were going to have a baby of their own.

Greg, a former Navy man, was athletic and in the spring of 2002, he had a physical checkup before competing in Milacaís Running in the Ruff event. The night of the race, however, he had a headache and was experiencing dizziness and went to the hospital.

Tests were run, but nothing showed up and the doctor told him to take Tylenol for the pain.

On May 22, Jody received the call that no one ever wants to receive. Her husband had died unexpectedly at work.

Greg died of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM). HCM is a genetic disease that caused Gregís heart to become enlarged.

In hindsight, if an EKG had been done it would have detected the HCM.

But Jodyís not looking back, sheís looking forward.

"Itís a tough row to hoe, but he didnít suffer. Thereís a reason I got pregnant," Jody added.

On June 11, just a few short weeks after Greg passed away, their daughter Amelia Lynn was born.

Jody attended a six-week course for grief support last November, and said, "It was very helpful, but I found myself looking for more."

There are support groups in Cambridge, Princeton, St. Cloud and Pine City, but none in Milaca.

So, Jody went to the Ministerial Association in early March and asked for their assistance in starting a grief support group.

The first grief support group meeting will be held at the Christian Reformed Church of Pease on Tuesday, April 1 at 7 p.m.

The group will continue to meet there every other Tuesday evening. Each year the meetings will be held at a different church.

Jody will be coordinating the meetings and will get different speakers for the meetings.

Books will be suggested, such as "Forever Ours" and "Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul."

The group will provide discussion, reassurance and a place to share information confidentially.

Jody points out, the group will help determine the format.

"Everyone handles grief differently," Jody said.

"This group will be a place where people can find comfort, a shoulder to cry on, support from fellow grievers, and the ability to talk about what theyíre going through with confidentiality."

Five stages of grief
1. Denial - Refusing to believe what has happened.
2. Anger - Anger can manifest itself in many ways, such as blaming others for the loss.
3. Bargaining - Trying to make a deal with yourself or your God to bring the person back.
4. Depression - Typically the most difficult stage, causing listlessness and tiredness. Feeling like there is no purpose in life any more or that everything is your fault.
5. Acceptance - Accepting the loss and realizing that life must go on.