Patriarchal system
thrived 50 years ago

Fannie Smith
Posted 3/13/03

Young people were family oriented 50 years ago. They stayed in their locality and churches influenced family life. People were exposed only to their area neighborhoods. All recreation was within the community. Until then, the system was well established in Europe, and continued in America. Families were bonded.

Children were considered an asset and a large family was a financial benefit. Many families expected their sons to work for them on the farm or in the shop without reward until 25 years old. Most children believed that was the right thing to do. Young girls, who did household service work in other's homes, willingly gave their earnings to their father until marriage. These daughters, and sons, too, were content to be left with a pittance of their earnings, and wanted to give their earnings to their father. It was the thing everyone did.

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"There was a time when father amounted to somebody in the United States. He was held with esteem in the family and the community. He had authority in his household. His views were taken seriously by his children. Even his wife paid heed to him."

ñ Adlai E. Stevenson

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The sons divided the inheritance. Usually, a farm or a shop business was divided by the number of sons, who set up small shops or shared the land owned by the father. If the farm or local business became too small to divide - not possible to reduce the size any farther and support a family, then the oldest son received the farm or business, on the promise to his parents to care for them until they died. The younger sons were left to work for another farm owner or a local tradesman. This was a serious predicament for the younger sons because opportunities were rather rare. That accounts for the immigration of younger sons of large families to the United States, Canada and elsewhere.

After the division, the oldest son had first choice for his divided interest in the farm or shop and, in their age order, the other brothers chose the remaining portions. The girls were expected to marry and share in their husbandsí inheritance, his servant-life, or whatever his financial situation was. The other boys were subject to finding work with another farm family, or work as an under-study in the same or in some other trade. If he married, his wife was also a servant of the farm or tradesman's family. This accounts for the reason one son remained in the "old country" with the parents, while the other sons emigrated to America.

Many industries were hand-done in the home until the 1850s when the factories and the machine age began. This form of inheritance where the oldest son pooled the earnings of his younger brothers and purchased their homes, cars, and even clothes during their life times, became unwieldy and not tolerated. When these immigrants came to the United States they continued the tradition for two or three generations. It was carried into the courts, occasionally, where I served.

These young farm, or shop, servants in Europe had an area to sleep in the barn and ate with the boss-family, or had a mud, log or turf hut near the homestead. In that case, the servant family received milk, farm produce, and their own garden - no money. If the farm owner had no children, or the children emigrated to another country, the servant family might inherit the farm on the promise to care for the owners until they died. There were times when a young man married an only daughter and realized possession of the farm after caring for the daughter's parents.

Ordinary people didn't go to court - very seldom appeared before a judge. When they did, their cases were handled by a serving district judge. Litigants had to have some money or be willing to pay the costs if a very serious difference arose. At the time, there was only jail time to separate these persons from the public. A relative, a respected neighbor, or the church heard the differences, and usually settled and ended the problem by a standard rule. Women were loyal to their husbands and if he drank or abused her and the children, nothing was done about it until a relative intervened. That seldom happened. Husbands or fathers seemed to control or cover up these problems.

Often family problems were settled by the church, though women who'd complain about a drunk and/or beating husband, were usually asked: "What did you do that made him drink or hit you?" If she and her children reported the abuse a few times, she could be flogged in the town square - with pain and embarrassment. She had no alternative.

All women believed they should be submissive to their husbands, concerning abuse and sex. Many men died before the youngest child was in first grade, leaving mother with many children to "make the best of it." That was their lot. Some women wanted no more children, experiencing difficult birth, and already having had many children. It was an unwritten rule that wives were to submit to their husbands. Women sought ways to end pregnancies. Some midwives, or a neighbor lady, used ways to end pregnancies. Some women died because it was not done correctly. The family system seemed to fail after the 1950s, or when women began to assert rights and entered the work force.